February 2012
102 posts
Lost.
Don’t know the right words to say to make you stay. Nothing seems to work and I don’t know what to do anymore. Going through the motions hoping one day something’s gonna change your mind. But for now, I know not to hold my breath waiting.
sincerelysv:
don’t know what to do anymore…
Awake.
Been lying in my bed for over an hour trying to put to rest my frazzled mind. Nothings working. No song, no lullaby, no happy thoughts seem to help and I’m wondering when am I ever gonna get to dream. When am I gonna be able to close my eyes, and dream about something happy, something pleasant something that isn’t about you. You’re supposed to go to sleep and escape your problems...
And again,
I’m back to square one. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.
Grateful
I’ll try harder.
U-Turn.
“Redirect your life,” the Pastor said, “Start over and go down the right path this time. Do things over and this time, get it right.”
Believe me, I’m trying. Happy Ash Wednesday.
I’ve always thought people who thought about this were foolish. Even though I knew they couldn’t help it I always wished I could have done something to shake them out of their problems. To make them stop thinking theyre not worth it, to make them stop thinking that doing something to themselves would solve the problem. I always wanted to make them stop . Never in my life would I have...
It doesn't get better
And I don’t think it ever will. I miss you like crazy. I don’t know how much longer I can last..
Back to reality.
School grind til spring break, stay focused on them good grades man. This hard work will pay off in the end I hope. Bitterness is still here, I miss my family already. Oh and you..always you.
This sucks.
If anything, the goodbye wasn’t helpful, it didn’t fix any loose ends. It made things worse. Everything that fuckin happened made things worse. It reminded me of everything we were. We did all the same things we’d usually do as if nothing happened. Last night made me realize that you were seriously the one perfect thing I had going in my life, and that I was an idiot to fuck...
Frustrated.
With midterms, with things I have to do, with ignorant people, with the way things have been lately. I’m at the point where crying still doesn’t make me feel any better and talking to people doesn’t help much either. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ll be in the middle of studying, in the middle of lecture, on my way to class and I feel like my entire day would...
I think the one bad thing about being very inward about my feelings, is that no one knows my limits. Not even me.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Mommy: Happy Valentine tin love you very much. its okay if you don't have date mom always here for u don't forget that take care God Bless u always.
That moment when my face gets hot and my vision starts blurring because my eyes are starting to water. Fuck-in the middle of lecture, fuck-in the middle of my midterm, fuck-just talking to my friends. I can’t help it even if I wanted to. I can’t concentrate on anything. I feel like shit. Wish I could go home already.
“If you can make it through the night there’s a brighter day”
– 2pac (via melisabeeanal)
And I don’t know much about fighting but...
I can’t sleep. I just want to talk to you but I know that’s not gonna happen anytime soon.